And then it was July. July 15th, to be exact. More than half way through 2019, I know. This year, I chose my three words ahead of time, in December of 2018, and they have been challenging for me. But that’s why I chose them. They have made me question, reflect, work. On myself, on my business. It’s been very much an interior process, which is probably why you haven’t heard much about them.
The thing about choosing three words isn’t necessarily about broadcasting them, but having them on the sideline whispering, “Your center is over here, on the big X. Stand right on it, and stay there.” So here they are, those dynamic devils that have been nudging me through the year.
I know I appear to be confident, and sometimes I am. Especially when I’m talking out loud to myself and any of my imaginary friends in the room. But just like all the other freelancers and solo business owners out there, I cannot shake the great Critic of Self Doubt sometimes. God I loathe the critic. Showing up at my worst moments, laughing in my face, taunting me with the risks of my dreams and goals. Confidence is like a mindfulness muscle that says, “That’s okay, the critic is entitled to its ignorant, shallow opinion. That doesn’t mean you have to share that opinion.” Confidence establishes itself in your core so that at moments of self-doubt, or when others doubt you, confidence holds you steady. Find ways to work that muscle.
Lordy, lordy do I want freedom. Financial freedom, creative freedom, freedom to be myself. Freedom comes in steps, that lay down a path that leads to flexibility. To me freedom is choice, to not be pinned in a corner with no life options. It’s wiggle room, an opportunity to grow. And you know who has to create that freedom in my life? Me, Myself and I.
Sometimes I miss joy when it happens. Joys, big and little, can be overwhelming in their own way. Expressing joy can get emotional, and I’m not good at embracing that in public. In the past I have felt that by putting your joys out there for everyone to see makes them vulnerable to getting squashed. But since that doesn’t really happen, I know it’s a fear and not a reality. I am reluctantly learning to giggle in that giddy way, to let my eyes tear up in front of others, and fully own my wins.
My words this year are challenging, and I will be working on them until the ball drops in Times Square. But I know the reward will be so worth it. If I’m confident, I will attract more work. More work will allow for that freedom to evolve. And that evolution will be full of joy meant to share with those I care about.
So what are you three words?